ATLANTA (The Borowitz Report)—Hurling an October surprise into his race for the United States Senate, Herschel Walker has revealed that he is an honorary Power Ranger.
In remarks to reporters at a campaign stop in Atlanta, Walker said that the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers designated him an honorary member sometime in the nineteen-nineties.
“They made me an honorary red Power Ranger,” he said. “They gave me the red costume, and the Power Sword and the Tyrannosaurus Power Coin.”
Offering further details of his superpowers, Walker said, “I can control the Tyrannosaurus Dinozord. Raphael Warnock can’t say that.”
Walker revealed that his status as an honorary Power Ranger was the real reason that he did not participate in the most recent candidates’ debate. “They wouldn’t let me wear my costume, because they claimed it was a ‘prop,’ ” he said, adding that he intends to wear it later this month when he goes trick-or-treating.