Wait! What’s Batman Doing Here?

[In addition to “Batgirl,” Michael] Keaton also filmed a scene for the upcoming “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” that test audiences found confusing, as it was unclear what Keaton’s Batman was doing in this universe.

The Hollywood Reporter.

Hondo: I don’t like that look, Mav.

Maverick: It’s the only one I got.

(Batman appears from the shadows.)

Batman: I don’t like that look, either.

Maverick: Who are you?

Batman: I am . . . the Batman.

Maverick: That your call sign?

Batman: No. I am a warrior of the darkness. I am the righter of wrongs.

(After a beat, Maverick and Hondo laugh.)

Hondo: Who let this joker on the base?

Batman: The Joker is my nemesis.

Maverick: Whatever. I’m flying this plane. Tell the admiral to try and stop me.

(Maverick jumps in the plane and takes off.)

Batman: I’ll give him your message.

Estragon: We always find something, eh Didi, to give us the impression we exist?

Vladimir: Yes yes, we’re magicians.

(Batman enters.)

Batman: I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?

(Vladimir and Estragon exchange a puzzled yet hopeful look.)

Estragon: Godot?

Batman: No.

Vladimir: Then who?

Batman: I am a creature of the night. I am justice.

Estragon: I’m still not getting it.

Vladimir: Me, neither.

(They sit, uncertain. After a few moments, Batman walks away.)

Ilsa: If you knew how much I loved you. How much I still love you.

(Rick and Ilsa kiss. Batman steps out of the shadows.)

Batman: You’re walking along and you fall through a hole. You never stop falling. The trauma never goes away.

Rick: I never heard such a load of cockeyed crap. And the bar’s closed. Get the hell out of here!

(After a moment, Batman leaves. Rick and Ilsa resume their embrace.)

Freddie Mercury: I want you out of my life.

Paul Prenter: ’Cause I’m the only one left, you’re blaming me for everything?

(Batman steps out of the night.)

Batman: Freddie’s breaking up with you, Paul. You should’ve told him about Live Aid.

Paul: I told him. He just forgot.

Batman: You know that’s not what happened. Now say goodbye. He’s leaving you. Forever.

(Batman and Freddie walk away from Paul through the rain.)

Freddie: Thank you for your help. Will you be returning with me to London?

Batman: No. My work here is done.

(Batman vanishes into the night.)

Freddie: Really? That’s it?

Laura Wingfield: Mother, when you’re disappointed, you get that awful suffering look on your face, like the picture of Jesus’ mother in the museum.

(Batman enters.)

Batman: Perhaps I can be of some help.

Laura: Another gentleman caller!

Amanda Wingfield: No, Laura. I have no idea who this masked stranger is. Who are you?

Batman: I am the Batman. I am the hero this city deserves.

Laura: Would you like to see my glass collection?

Batman: No.

(After several minutes of silence, Batman leaves.)

Hamlet: To be, or not to be, that is the question.

(Batman enters.)

Hamlet: What spirit are you, that walks this castle in such strange raiment?

Batman: I am the Batman.

Hamlet: Indeed. And how does the man of bat see this princely predicament?

Batman: There is . . . no question. Your father was murdered. His murderer must pay. With his life.

(After a moment, Hamlet nods. End of play.) ♦

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