Hondo: I don’t like that look, Mav.
Maverick: It’s the only one I got.
(Batman appears from the shadows.)
Batman: I don’t like that look, either.
Maverick: Who are you?
Batman: I am . . . the Batman.
Maverick: That your call sign?
Batman: No. I am a warrior of the darkness. I am the righter of wrongs.
(After a beat, Maverick and Hondo laugh.)
Hondo: Who let this joker on the base?
Batman: The Joker is my nemesis.
Maverick: Whatever. I’m flying this plane. Tell the admiral to try and stop me.
(Maverick jumps in the plane and takes off.)
Batman: I’ll give him your message.
•
Estragon: We always find something, eh Didi, to give us the impression we exist?
Vladimir: Yes yes, we’re magicians.
(Batman enters.)
Batman: I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?
(Vladimir and Estragon exchange a puzzled yet hopeful look.)
Estragon: Godot?
Batman: No.
Vladimir: Then who?
Batman: I am a creature of the night. I am justice.
Estragon: I’m still not getting it.
Vladimir: Me, neither.
(They sit, uncertain. After a few moments, Batman walks away.)
•
Ilsa: If you knew how much I loved you. How much I still love you.
(Rick and Ilsa kiss. Batman steps out of the shadows.)
Batman: You’re walking along and you fall through a hole. You never stop falling. The trauma never goes away.
Rick: I never heard such a load of cockeyed crap. And the bar’s closed. Get the hell out of here!
(After a moment, Batman leaves. Rick and Ilsa resume their embrace.)
•
Freddie Mercury: I want you out of my life.
Paul Prenter: ’Cause I’m the only one left, you’re blaming me for everything?
(Batman steps out of the night.)
Batman: Freddie’s breaking up with you, Paul. You should’ve told him about Live Aid.
Paul: I told him. He just forgot.
Batman: You know that’s not what happened. Now say goodbye. He’s leaving you. Forever.
(Batman and Freddie walk away from Paul through the rain.)
Freddie: Thank you for your help. Will you be returning with me to London?
Batman: No. My work here is done.
(Batman vanishes into the night.)
Freddie: Really? That’s it?
•
Laura Wingfield: Mother, when you’re disappointed, you get that awful suffering look on your face, like the picture of Jesus’ mother in the museum.
(Batman enters.)
Batman: Perhaps I can be of some help.
Laura: Another gentleman caller!
Amanda Wingfield: No, Laura. I have no idea who this masked stranger is. Who are you?
Batman: I am the Batman. I am the hero this city deserves.
Laura: Would you like to see my glass collection?
Batman: No.
(After several minutes of silence, Batman leaves.)
•
Hamlet: To be, or not to be, that is the question.
(Batman enters.)
Hamlet: What spirit are you, that walks this castle in such strange raiment?
Batman: I am the Batman.
Hamlet: Indeed. And how does the man of bat see this princely predicament?
Batman: There is . . . no question. Your father was murdered. His murderer must pay. With his life.
(After a moment, Hamlet nods. End of play.) ♦