As summer arrives, the fact that hot dogs come in packs of ten but hot-dog buns only come in packs of eight once again existentially unbalances the barbecue season.
The mathematically optimal solution of buying four hot-dog packs (of ten hot dogs each) and five hot-dog-bun packs (of eight hot-dog buns each), to total forty hot dogs and forty buns, does not adequately solve the problem, as having forty hot dogs and forty hot-dog buns is undesirable for most households (or single people in need of hot dogs).
Below are some proposed methods for preparing exactly one pack of hot dogs and one pack of hot-dog buns without any leftover hot dogs.
Thinly slice all hot dogs lengthwise, lay hot-dog buns sideways, separating the tops and bottoms, then distribute slices evenly across eight sandwiches.
Tightly crush each bun into a ball, then roll out into a thin, flattened disk. Roughly chop all hot dogs and distribute evenly across eight disks. Eat folded.
Blend all hot dogs and hot-dog buns together until very, very smooth. Pour into glasses and drink.
Slice each hot dog into four equal pieces (totalling forty pieces of hot dog) and each hot-dog bun into five equal pieces (totalling forty pieces of hot-dog bun). Place each hot-dog segment into each hot-dog-bun segment and serve as hors d’œuvres.
Tear each hot-dog bun into pieces, roll each hot-dog-bun piece into a small ball, then flatten each ball into a disk. Grind all hot dogs into a rough paste, place a small scoop of hot-dog paste in the center of each bun disk, then seal all bun disks into pouches and serve.
Finely mince all hot-dog buns, then tightly roll minced buns around the hot dogs. Slice each roll into six bite-sized pieces and serve.
Soak buns in water until they fall apart, creating a wet, porridge-like consistency. Finely dice all hot dogs into cubes and stir in gently. Ladle mixture into bowls and serve.
Make eight regular hot dogs (placing eight hot dogs into eight hot-dog buns), then puree the remaining two hot dogs into a thick paste and squeeze on top of each hot dog as a condiment.
Tightly roll all hot-dog buns into a large ball and flatten into one large disk. Then slice hot dogs into thin rounds and top large bun disk evenly with hot-dog rounds. Slice into triangles to serve.
Puree all hot dogs, then whisk rapidly into a light, airy cream. Separate bun halves and slice off rounded bun tops and bun edges so that they form identical rectangular layers, then stack bun layers with hot-dog cream between each layer as desired. Spread hot-dog cream smoothly across top layer, then garnish each stack with a maraschino cherry. (Nota bene: this recipe requires maraschino cherries.) Serve as dessert.
Invent a device that uses a quantum wave form to shrink physical matter down to a minuscule size by reducing the space between its atoms, then use said device to shrink the ten hot dogs and eight hot-dog buns until they are small enough to fit together on a single spoon, such that the difference in the number of hot dogs and the number of hot-dog buns becomes negligible. Eat in one bite.
Puree all ten hot dogs into a thick paste and re-form into eight slightly larger hot-dog-shaped logs, bake until set, then place the eight new hot dogs into the eight hot-dog buns and serve.