Hello, beautiful bride-to-be!
We’re so thrilled that you chose us to be your wedding-day makeup team. Here at Truly Confident Bridal, we’re all about letting your “natural beauty” shine through. We promise you’ll be the most stunning gal in the room, and it will only take ninety hours and a team of twelve professionals to achieve this! Below, you’ll find a breakdown of our offerings.
The “Born with It” Package
With this simple, no-fuss package, you’ll have your choice of four makeup applications:
If you choose this lightweight option, you can be confident that your makeup will stay
put until the end of your magical night, when you scrub it away with a Mr. Clean Magic
Eraser and some Goo Gone (not included).
We’ll coat your face in a mixture of primer, max-coverage concealer, and cement. This longwear makeup is guaranteed to last from your “first look” to your first anniversary, whether you like it or not.
Simply stand in an open field while our nearly licensed team member Devin flies overhead in a prop plane and drenches you with the entire Urban Decay product line. The bold effects of this aerial application will last forever.
This traditional style of makeup allows you to look the most like yourself on your special day. We do not recommend it.
Some of our most popular add-ons for the “Born with It” package include lip plumper, hair extensions, leg extensions, armpit contouring, forehead Spanx, nose transplant, clavicle sculpting, eyebrow toupees, and false lashes.*
*False lashes are optional, but if you refuse them, Devin will scream.
The “Turn Back Time” Special
We are pleased to announce a brand-new service for a limited time: an elbow double! For any photos that feature the back of your arms, a thirteen-year-old girl will serve as a stand-in for you and your weathered, old arm hinge. It’s totally pain-free and can make you look anywhere from ten to sixty-five years younger! (This offer expires at the end of June, when Devin’s niece leaves for sleepaway camp.)
The “A-Lister” Package
We’ll hire a Hadid sister to be you on your wedding day! Don’t worry—you’ll still get to be part of the celebration from your hiding place under the d.j. booth. We personally pledge that your photos will look spectacular. And Devin will be standing by to sneak you table scraps.
The “Perfect Groom” Package
If needed, we also offer a comprehensive package for grooms! With this, our handsome groom will get:
• One bottle of barrel-aged whiskey.
• A damp comb run through his hair.
• A high-five.
We can’t wait for your big day. We guarantee that you’ll be looking your best, which is to say, like a different person entirely!
The Truly Confident Bridal Team